Tomato
by C-ko
Summary: This is one of my never ending crossovers with absolutely no plot. Well, there might be plot, I'm not sure. Its got various yaoi couples too. Okay?
1. Tomato 1

Please forgive any spelling mistakes. Sometimes I'm tired and my spelling and grammar skills desert me.  
  
All the characters belong to someone else, unless I made them up. Then they belong to me. Please, feel free to write me nasty e-mails. I love the abuse.   
  
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One Duo Maxwell sat idly looking over the battlefield from the cockpit of his large, destructive Gundam. He and his fellow pilots had just finished destroying the OZ forces sent against them. Duo probably should have been proud of his skills or sad for killing or at least tired, but our beloved braided pilot wasn't any of those things. In fact, he was rather bored.   
  
He chose to share his feelings with the other pilots whether they really cared or not. "Damn, that was boring! Let's do something fun!" Duo cackled with insane glee over the radio.  
  
Wufei shivered in slight fear. He knew that tone of voice. It was rarely used but when it was, he knew trouble was to follow. Wufei's fear was well justified. Duo whipped out a oval shaped object with holes cut in it. The strange glowing thing was apparently an instrument, because Duo put it up to his lips and played a few notes then stopped abruptly and smiled knowingly. "That should do it."  
  
Quatre was about to question what exactly "it" was when the music suddenly continued, now much more intricate then the crude notes Duo produced but with the same tune. The blonde pilot stared in amazement as colors began to swirl around the five Gundams. Quatre was momentarily blinded by a flash of light, but when he opened his sparkling blue orbs he wished he hadn't.   
  
Four pilots stood, dressed as mariachis complete with instruments, behind a fifth braided pilot who was clad in a pair of leather pants. And nothing else. Wufei growled. "Maxwell, what is the meaning of this?!"   
  
Duo silenced him with an uncharacteristically sharp glare and then nodded his head. The four boys suddenly found themselves playing their individual instruments. This was starling enough, but they were in for an even bigger surprise when Duo began to sing.  
  
  
"Link! Had come to town! Come to save the Princess Zelda!" The skinny American boy suddenly had a scary Mexican voice - a feat which left the other boys speechless. Despite their awe, the invisible force kept them playing."Ganon took her away! Now the children won't play, but they will when Link saves the day!"   
  
The boys found themselves cheering and calling out in the same scary Mexican voice. This was definitely interesting.  
  
"Link! Fill up your hearts! And wield your sword with power! And when you're feeling run down the fairy will come around. LINK!" Duo abruptly stopped the odd song and the four stopped playing. The boys looked up at Duo in confusion, all except Heero that is, who glared. Duo sighed a little and shrugged. "I don't know the rest of the words."  
  
The others sweatdropped, except Heero, who continued to glare. "Duo, omae o korosu." Duo giggled happily, smiled and then started running as fast as his legs could carry him.  
  
The three watched as Heero chased Duo off into the sunset. Quatre, more than willing to take advantage of the lovely sunset, snuggled close to unibanged companion. Trowa automatically wrapped his arms around Quatre.   
  
Wufei snorted and turned away from the snuggling couple. He was making plans to get back to his Gundam when something shiny caught his eye. He moved over to the spot and picked up the strange object to examine it. It was an oval shaped oject with some holes cut in it and had the potential to be any number of things. A toaster. Scott Ross. A radioactive squirrel. But for the sake of plot (yeah, like there's actually a plot), Wufei came to the correct conclusion that the strange object was, in fact, an instrument. "Hm... I wonder if this is the thing Maxwell played  
in his Gundam."   
  
Obviously not making the connection between their unexpected traveling and the strange tune Duo had played, the Chinese boy brought the ocarina to his lips and played a couple of notes.   
  
Wufei winced at the terrible sound. "Yes, this is definitely the thing Maxwell was playing." He was about to toss the instrument away when the music began playing again. Wufei recognized it as the tune he had played only moments earlier. Only, much nicer. The air around Wufei began to glow. The grouchy pilot eeped and frantically tired to get Quatre and Trowa's attention in hopes they could save him from the swirling colors.   
  
"Quatre! Trowa! Will you two stop kissing!" Unfortunately, Wufei's pleas fell upon deaf ears and he disappeared with a flash of multicolored light.   
  
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Wufei cautiously opened his eyes and realized he was in a shiny red car. With a white leather interior. And in between two very lovely and very surprised men. And both the car and the two men contained within were damn manipulative. And semi naked. The men, not the car, that is. He also noticed with no small amount of shock that the car was driving itself. Around some sort of arena. With a upside down spinning castle suspended from the non-existing ceiling. Which defies every existing law of physics. The two men didn't seem to notice or care about this law defying phenomenon. They were more interested in the black haired boy in their car.  
  
Wufei started open mouthed at the purple hair man who was sitting in the driver's seat of the strange car.   
  
"Hello there, may I ask what you are doing in my car?" The purple hair man smiled in a seductive manner that made Wufei very nervous. The man took advantage of the youth's confusion to wrap himself tightly around the pilot. The red haired one smiled in amusement and leaned closer to Wufei.   
  
Wufei gulped nervously. "I... I..."  
  
"No need to be nervous. Let us introduce ourselves." The gorgeous blue eyed boy said, pushing back a lock of his fiery red hair. "I am Touga. President of the Student Council."  
  
"And I am Akio. Chairman of Ohtori. And you have been lucky enough to find yourself in my car."  
  
"I... I... I'm Wufei." The poor boy stuttered, a bit unnerved by the fact that Touga was actually around the same age as he. The red head definitely looked older then him. He looked like a man, not a boy. Wufei felt a little embarrassed as he realized he definitely fell into the boy catagory. He was distracted from his thoughts by the chairman. Akio reached around to untie Wufei's hair and caress his cheek a bit, causing the boy to blush. Now all three's hair whipped around in the wind. Akio smiled. "So, tell me... Wufei. Do you like swords?" the man asked  
before jumping on the hood of the speeding car.   
  
Touga wrapped himself around the Chinese boy in Akio's place as the car continued along. "Don't worry. He's does that all the time," he said, referring to the man doing a fine imitation of a hood ornament. Wufei gulped. What sort of thing had he gotten himself into? 


	2. Tomato 2

Like I said before, none of these people belong to me unless I made them up. Then I'll tell you that they belong to me.   
  
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Soon, the sun went down and the blonde angel and his unibanged prince were swallowed by darkness. Trowa soon found out how cold the desert was at night. "Maybe we should find some place a little warmer," Quatre suggested as Trowa shivered.   
  
Trowa, who had made the connection between Duo's instrument and the sudden change in location, did a quick scan of the ground. He located it rather quickly; it did glow, after all. He walked over and scooped up the glowing device. "Don't worry Quatre, we'll be somewhere nice and warm soon," the normally silent boy said reassuringly to his small lover.   
  
Quatre didn't really need Trowa's reassurance- he was, after all, Arbian. They had deserts in Arabia. He decided it was best for Trowa to think he was doing something to help him, so he wrapped his arms around Trowa and did his best to look cold and feeble. The brown haired boy boy put the instrument to his lips and played a few random notes. The one eyed boy silently prayed that they would end up somewhere cozy. Colors and music soon surrounded the two and when they vanished, the embracing couple had followed suit.  
  
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A blonde figure with pointy ears stood in an elaborate temple with a sword protruding from a carved rock in the middle of the floor. The boy emptied out all his pockets and packs, obviously looking for something. He found a couple bottles, weapons, some money, spare clothes, boots, and the entrails of a dwarven youth.   
  
Link briefly wondered how the flesh of a dwarven youth had arrived in his pack. He shrugged, and after deciding it really wasn't worth getting it worked up about, he sacrificed them to his gods and continued searching. "I know I put that ocarina somewhere..."   
  
He didn't think he dropped the instrument anywhere, but where was it? Why someone would want to steal the stupid piece of glowing metal was beyond the Hero of Time.   
  
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Quatre found himself sitting at an elegant table sipping tea and holding a conversation with a blonde woman wearing a long white dress. The dress looked very expensive, a display of her wealth and power. Quatre noticed she wore her hair in the oddest fashion. Her long blonde hair was put up into two buns before it swept down to form two ponytails. She also had a strange crescent moon shaped mark on her forehead.   
  
"So, what brings you to my court, Mr. Winner?" the Queen asked. She smiled gently at the boy and took another sip of her tea.  
  
Quatre Rebecca Winner had grown up in a wealthy household and knew all about diplomacy. A simple "we were sent here by a magic instrument" wouldn't cut it. The boy cleared his throat. "We did come here quite by accident. Though, after seeing how lovely your kingdom is, I must make it my top priority to visit again." The blonde smiled angelically and continued. "Upon arriving, I thought the proper thing to do was pay my respects to the ruler of this delightful place."  
  
Trowa sighed slightly, ignoring the conversation between Quatre and the Queen. Trowa had no practice with diplomacy. He would leave the talking to the blonde pilot. He idly looked out the window at Earth. "We must be on the moon," he mumbled to himself. He had never know there was a palace on the moon.  
  
  
Trowa's mumbles went unheard as the two blondes continued their conversation. "A Gundam Pilot. Very interesting. Does that mean you often go on dangerous missions?"  
  
The smaller blonde nodded. "Yes. Life as a Gundam pilot is full of danger."  
  
"Would you be willing to take a mission for me?" the Queen asked pleadingly.  
  
Quatre looked a bit suprised. "What would this mission entail?"  
  
"There are doubles of my thirteen closest friends and advisors corrupting American children." She pulled out a folder from sub-space and handed it to Quatre. "This contains their pictures, names and residences as last recorded. There are ten 'scouts', as they call themselves, two cats, and one annoying prince. These look alikes are giving the real thirteen a bad name and making people lose respect for them." The blonde queen took another sip from her tea. "What I want you to do is kill them."  
  
Quatre looked at Trowa questioningly. The Queen was about to offer then time alone to discuss her proposition, but apparently the two could communicate through looks. The small pilot turned to her. "Mission Accepted."  
  
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Wufei blushingly fidgeted with his dress. The entire thing was red and the skirt portion was long and puffed out a little. The top was like a vest. It had a tassel hanging off each shoulder, which tickled Wufei's bare arms like there was no tomorrow. Completing the outfit were two red shirt cuffs around the embarrassed pilot's wrists. Their purpose? No one knows.  
  
Touga and Akio thought he looked adorable in the dress, but Wufei was not pleased. How he had gotten Wufei into the dress in the first place was even beyond the Chinese pilot. Akio was damn manipulative, but Wufei couldn't help but like him. Maybe the boy *liked* being manipulated. Or maybe Akio just reminded him of another manipulative bastard that Wufei held close to his heart. Either way, Wufei still felt like throwing himself to the ground and crying like a little schoolgirl.  
  
Wufei was rather tempted to follow through with that thought when, with a flash of light, a strange man appeared in front of him. He was very tall and had two silver fox ears protruding from his silver hair. He wore gauzy white clothes and had a silver tail coming out of the back. In fact, he was entirely silver. In his arms, he held a small squirming three-eyed fire demon dressed entirely in black. The silver youko handed the confused youth a card.  
  
  
  
Youko Kurama   
  
Thief, Sex God, Fairy Godmother  
  
  
Wufei looked up at Kurama even more confused. He silently hoped the youko wasn't here to demonstrate how he achieved the title of "Sex God". The little struggling demon, obviously sharing the same concerns, stopped trying to remove himself from Kurama's grip long enough to growl at Wufei. Hiei didn't like to share.   
  
The fox, obviously understanding Wufei's confusion said with a sigh, "I'm your fairy godmother."  



	3. Tomato 3

Nope, don't own these people. But if I did... ::cackles::   
  
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Heero had finally caught the braided pilot. He slung the psychotic pilot casually over his shoulder and made his way back to where they first appeared. Heero, being the perfect soldier, quickly observed that his fellow pilots were missing. He did a quick scan of the area looking for any possible sign of danger.   
  
"Heeeeero!" Duo whined while squirming uncomfortably. The said pilot gave the American a quick swat to his behind. Duo yelped and pouted. "Hee-chan. You're mean!"   
  
The Japanese youth soon located the ocarina. He also had put together the connection between the small instrument and their current location. This of course was to be expected. Nothing gets by the perfect soldier.   
  
Heero picked up the shining thing which had managed to find its way back into the dessert. He looked it over cautiously, then brought it to his lips and played a few notes. Like with Quatre and Trowa, they were surrounded by light and vanished along with it.   
  
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Wufei stared in disbelief at the tall silver man. "So... why are you here?"  
  
Kurama smiled seductively and whispered, "To fulfill your desires..."  
  
Wufei eeped, blushed and attempted to hide in the puffy skirt of his dress. Apparently, Hiei didn't like the idea either. He was growling fiercely and trying to kill Wufei with his katana. Luckily, Kurama kept a firm hold on the little black fire demon.  
  
"No, not *those* desires." Both black haired boys relaxed visibly. "I'm going to fullfill you heart's desires."   
  
Wufei looked hopeful. "A pony?"  
  
Kurama sighed in exasperation. "No, not a pony! You know what I mean."   
  
"I know what you're thinking. And the answer is NO!" the fiesty pilot growled.  
  
"You know you want him."   
  
"I would rather see any other man."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes I'm sure, goddamnit!"  
  
"Fine, have it your way." The tall silver man snapped his graceful fingers and several burly men appeared. "He's all yours," he said, gesturing to Wufei.  
  
The men eyed the boy hungrily... like he was a succulent piece of meat. Wufei paled considerably and flung himself behind Kurama for protection.   
  
"Help! Get them out of here!" Wufei cried and clung to the silver fox, which caused Hiei to growl.  
  
"But, I thought you wanted this," the youko chuckled.  
  
"No! I didn't mean it! Please!"  
  
"Fine, but if you change your mind, I'm not going to bring them back later." The silver man casually snapped his fingers and the men were removed from Ohtori. "So, are you ready to get what you really want?"  
  
Wufei sighed and accepted his fate.  
  
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As Duo and Heero vanished, a pink limo pulled up and the Queen of the World hopped out. She gleefully scooped up the ocarina and began nuzzling it lovingly. "Heero... he touched this." She happily caressed the instrument. "He put his... lips on it." She brought the shiny instrument up to her lips, intent on getting an indirect kiss from her beloved.   
  
She put her lips on the instrument and played a few notes. She giggled happily and clutched the instrument to her. "Oh, Heero! I never thought the day would come." She sighed deeply. "I got a kiss from Heero Yuy."   
  
She caressed the glowing ocarina, oblivious to the light swirling around her. She did, however, become aware when she suddenly found herself falling from a very impressive height. Straight into a shallow pool of water.   
  
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Neo Queen Selenity smiled at the two boys she had recruited. "I can't very well set you against Sailor Senshi without powers of your own. Two of my people have offered to let you borrow their powers." She eyed Quatre's pink shirt, pulled out a small pink heart-shaped thing and handed it to him. "You, Mr. Winner, seeing as you seem to be fond of pink, will be Sailor Chibi Moon." She then turned to Trowa and handed him a rose. Quatre wasn't sure if she was making passes at his boyfriend or not. Either way, he chose to hold his tongue. "And you Mr. Barton, will be Tuxedo Kamen."  
  
The two pilots looked over the objects they had been given. They were still a bit skeptical, but the blonde Queen was really in no mood to hear their concerns. "You two can henshin and then well send you on your way with a Sailor Teleport." She smiled regally and finished off her tea.  
  
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Duo looked around the room he and his silent companion had ended up in. It was rather cluttered with various useless objects. The green walls were decorated with posters and cutouts. There was a television sitting on a dresser with a paused game of Zelda in the N64.   
  
Despite the clutter and the burnt Pikachu pinata lying in the corner, it was a rather pleasant room. Duo bounced a little on the futon and gave Heero a suggestive look. The spandex clad boy glared for a couple seconds then pounced on Duo, very willing to exploit the situation.   
  
Heero was happily coaxing Duo into removing articles of clothing when a figure appeared in the doorway. It looked the boys over then cleared its throat. The two boys looked up instantly. They both blushed upon seeing the brown-haired girl standing there.   
  
She just smiled and adjusted her lopsided glasses. "Squall let you in, didn't he?"   



	4. Tomato 4

Again. I own none. Why? I'm not sure. It could be the monkey's fault.  
  
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"Now, you need to hold up the compact and yell 'Moon Prism Power, Make Up.'," she explained to the blonde.  
  
Quatre was brought up to be a gentlemen, so he really didn't like to yell. It was very rude. "Do I have to yell?"  
  
The Moon Queen nodded. "It would ruin the effect otherwise."   
  
Quatre hesitantly held up the pink heart-shaped compact. "Moon Prism Power, Make Up!" Pink hearts and such began to swirl around Quatre. He found himself suddenly clothed in a white leotard. He blinked as a short pink skirt formed along with gloves and boots. The Arabian pilot realized he suddenly had more hair and it was now help up in a style mimicing the Queen's. As the pink spinning things died down, Sailor Chibi Quatre Moon struck a pose.   
  
Quatre, feeling more than a little embarrassed in the little girls clothes, was about to ask the neccessity of this when he found himself spouting out some speech about justice. God! Now he felt like Wufei! "In the name of the new moon, I will punish you!!" The poor boy struck another pose and the Queen clapped excitedly.   
  
"You're a natural, Quatre!" She smiled then turned to the silent boy. "Your turn."  
  
Trowa looked at her quizically, unsure of how to proceed. Apperently, Usagi wasn't exactly sure either. "I've only seen Mamo-chan henshin once. I don't think anyone is actually sure how he does it..."   
Trowa sighed. Why did he always have to get the complicated jobs?  
  
"I think you just concentrate on being Tuxedo Kamen. Here's a picture for reference." She held up a photo.  
  
"I'm supposed to look like that?" the banged boy inquired.  
  
The queen took a look at the picture and blushed. It was a picture of Mamo-chan in a speedo wearing his cape and top hat. "Oops. Wrong one." She pulled out the correct picture of the fully clothed Tuxedo Kamen.  
  
Trowa took the picture and concentrated on the image.  
  
To the Queen's delight, rose petals began swirling around Trowa. Tuxedo Trowa found himself clad in a suit with a cape and ridiculous top hat. Atleast he didn't have to make horrifying speeches after his transformation sequence.  
  
"Now hold hands," the Queen told the makeshift Senshi.   
  
They followed her instructions quickly. Trowa squeezed the fuku clad blonde's hand in reassurance. Quatre smiled. The pilots' "special moment" was interupted by two cats who stood in the middle of the small circle formed by the two.   
  
"SAILOR!" the animals shouted.  
  
"TELEPORT!" the boys responded.  
  
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Relena hit the pool with a large splash. She was lucky and avoided a collision with the bottom of the shallow body of water. As she climbed out of the spring, a small, fat man rushed over to her and started babbling in broken sentences.   
  
"Ah! Very bad!"  
  
Relena glared at the Chinese guide. "What do you mean 'very bad'? So I'm a little wet, big deal?!"  
  
The little man gulped. "Fall in Spring of Drowned Raging Lesbian. Tragic story of raging lesbian who fall in pool and drown 5,000 year ago. Now all who fall in pool turn into raging lesbian. Very sad." He explained to the annoyed and very wet Relena.   
  
She didn't have a clue what the stupid little man was talking about. She didn't feel any different. And she certainly felt no sudden attraction to women. "You old fool! Don't lie to..." Relena trailed off as she noticed one of those nice Chinese Amazons. A very pretty Amazon. As the Chinese girl passed Relena stood up and trailed after her.   
  
"Ah! Where you go? No explain curse reversal yet!" He called to her, holding up a kettle of hot water. Relena, who was obviously too involved with following the pretty girl, didn't hear the Chinese man.   
  
The guide shrugged. "Too bad, waste of pretty girl."  
  
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Xellos sat, happily floating in the air. He was entertaining himself by watching the antics of an unfortunate girl who had just fallen into the Spring of Drowned Raging Lesbian.   
  
So far she had been beaten up by three girls and was now following another. The trickster couldn't wait to see what the outcome would be. He hoped no one got too carried away; she wouldn't be any fun if she was dead.  
  
"This show would be even better with some company," the purple haired man commented to himself. He looked thoughtful for a moment then excliamed triumphantly, "I know!"  
  
He snapped his fingers and grinned happily when a Zelgadis appeared on Xel's lap wearing nothing but pink, lacy women's undergarments. Zel blinked in suprise at the change in his surroundings. But as soon as he noticed his clothing, his suprise was forgotten and he glared angrily at the smiling culprit. Xel didn't seem to notice, or care about the chimera's anger.   
  
"Xellos..." the blue skinned man growled out threateningly.  
  
"Zel-chan, what's the matter? Don't you like the color?" he asked innocently, pointing to Zel's clothing.  
  
The infuriated Zel growled again at the mazoku and promptly punched him in the head. The priest tumbled backwards from the force of the blow and landed on the ground with a thud. Zel floated down to were a dazed Xel lay moaning. And no, unfortunatly for our beloved blue skinned chimera, it was not in pain.  
  
"Zel-chan! You know what I like! Do it again!" the trickster moaned pleadingly.   
  
The scantily clad man sighed. You think after all this time he would remember Xel likes the abuse! But, no! As soon as his anger flares, the information flies right out of his mind. He grudgingly scooped up the priest and set off to find a more private place.  
  
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Wufei sighed as two men suddenly appeared in front of him. They both looked more then just a bit suprised. Whether it was the fact that they were suddenly transported to some strange place, the many red cars sticking out of the ground, the upside down spinning castle suspended from the sky, or that Wufei was wearing a dress is unknown.   
  
The ginger-haired man got over his shock first and scooped Wufei up in his arms. "Dragon, what are you doing here looking so delicious?" Treize asked, admiring Wufei's dress.  
  
Zechs, feeling left out, wrapped his arms around Wufei also. The Chinese youth gave a small sigh. These two were deffinately like Touga and Akio. The poor Gundam pilot shuddered at the shear magnitude of manipulativeness that was contained between the four.   
  
The two men responsible for getting the dress on Wufei smiled at the newcomers. Akio smiled that seductive Akio smile. "I am Ohtori Akio. Chairman of Ohtori Accademy."   
  
Treize and Zechs were about to extend their own pleasantries when they were interupted by a ring. Akio puled out of a cell phone and held it up to is ear. "Yes, I'll be right there." And with that, he walked off leaving Touga in charge of welcoming the other two men.  
  
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A small purple-haired boy stood in front of a bakery, looking into the window. He wore a pair of red pants and a white shirt with a red vest over it. He fidgeted with a small flute while eyeing the cookies in the window.   
  
Suddenly a man was standing next to the boy. A very bishounen man. He was dressed almost the same as the small boy, but his white shirt was frilly, unlike the boy's. The man, in fact, looked like an older version of the child. He too peered intently into the window.   
  
Another man appeared next to the two. He looked a bit older then then the first man, but was definately more bishounen. His light purple hair was also longer then the two other males' and kept back in a ponytail. He wore a red shirt and a pair of black pants. He, following the duo's example, looked into the window.  
  
All three peered at the cookies.   
  
All was apparently going well. They were staring at the cookies. All lined up by height. Staring at the cookies. Staring rather well, too. The man in the middle suddenly went rigid and stared to yell, "My keys! I can't find my keys!! Have you seen my keys?! Where the hell are my keys?!" He clutched at his head and then threw himself through the bakery window.   
  
The oldest and most bishounen man rolled his eyes in contempt and muttered "Loser" under his breath. As the other man convulsed on the floor of the bakery in a sea of cookies, broken glass, and blood, the oldest took the youngest's hand and led him away from the scene.  
  
No one should have to see an Akio act in that manner. 


	5. Tomato 5

You can't have A-chan, C-ko or Kyle. Cos I'm C-ko, A-chan is A-chan and Kyle is Kyle. No one owns us. Someone owns everyone else though.  
  
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Before the surprised boys could respond, a giggling blur sprang into view and firmly attached herself to the girl in the doorway. "A-chan! Let's watch the Utena movie!!"   
  
The blonde girl frowned as she noticed the other girl wasn't paying attention to her. She followed her friend's line of vision and gasped. "Is that..."  
  
"Yeah, C-ko," she said with a nod of the head.  
  
The blonde let out a happy shriek and promptly attached herself to the partially clothed Perfect Soldier, all the while chanting, "I'm glomping Hee-chan!".  
  
A-chan sighed as Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously. "C-ko, let go of the boy before he causes you bodily harm."  
  
The girl pouted a little, but let go of the dark haired youth. Her unhappiness didn't last long, however. She had soon attached herself to the braided pilot.  
  
As you can imagine, this made Heero even more upset. He was about to cause this "C-ko" some serious damage, when another figure appeared in the doorway.  
  
The tall brown haired boy looked over the scene. "Alli, is that who I think it is?"  
  
The brown haired girl nodded. "Yes, Kyle."  
  
The boy squealed and firmly attached himself to the braided boy. "Duo-chan!"  
  
"Hey! Stop that! I was here first!" the blonde cried, smacking Kyle upside the head with a stuffed cat. "Mwahahaha! Feel the wrath of kitty!"  
  
"Caaassie!" the boy whined while returning the blows with a belt made out of plastic orange cirles with hearts drawn on them. "Make him come back!"  
  
"Make him come back, now!" the other countered.  
  
"Come back!  
  
"Now!"  
  
"Now!"  
  
"Make him!"  
  
"Now!"  
  
"Make him come back now!"  
  
Unfortunately for Duo, the strange bickering people were still clinging to him. And they weren't exactly being gentle. But, of course, Heero came to his beloved's rescue.  
  
"Omae o korosu." The boy pointed a gun he had randomly pulled out of his spandex pants at the two.  
  
The girl uttered one more "make him" before hiding behind the older boy.   
  
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Treize was very glad Akio had convinced Wufei to wear a dress. Very glad. He looked so cute. His Dragon should wear women's clothing more often. The Oz general briefly wondered where Akio and Touga had run off to. Touga also got a phone call and left shortly after Akio. Perhaps the wanted to give Treize and Zechs time alone with the Chinese boy. How thoughtful.  
  
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Akio sat on a bed with Touga and Peruru. They had changed the boy into one of his old Dios outfits. Now, he was going to teach the little Akio how to wreak some planned chaos. He held the opera glasses up to the boy's eyes. "See that boy down there? He is the Rose Bride."   
  
Peruru peered through the glasses and nodded.  
  
"Since Anthy ran off, he will replace her and take over my sister's duties," he said while absently fondling his own bare chest.   
  
"But what about the other two?" the little purple haired one asked.  
  
"Treize and Zechs you mean? They are of no consequence to me. A fox spirit claiming to be Wufei's fairy godmother brought them here."  
  
"You mean the silver one riding around the arena in your car?"   
  
"What?!" The chairman grabbed the glasses back from Peruru and looked at the duel arena.   
  
Kurama was trying to get Hiei to recline the seat, so they could participate in fun Akio Car activities. Of course, Hiei was resisting. Not only they were in public, but they were in a moving vehicle! Vehicles tend to crash when no one is driving them. He apparently didn't realize the full power of the Akio Car.   
  
Akio made a few unhappy noises. "I hope he doesn't shed..."   
  
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Shinji cackled insanely and started gnawing on a building. Or rather Eva 01 did. Ate the building, that is. Not cackled.  
  
Shinji was in a weird mood today. It had started when these Jehovah's Witnesses infultrated NERV. He was in his Eva at the time and they started yelling for him to "repent for the reign of God was at hand" over the intercom. They were evantually dragged away, but, something cracked in Shinji, who wasn't having a good day to begin with. Maybe it was because of all that was expected of him, or his need to make everyone happy, but whatever it was, the Jehovahs were the last straw.   
  
The boy decided that the Jehovah's Witnesses were right. The reign of God *was* at hand. He didn't need to repent, though, becuase he was God. And it was his reign. His Eva agreed with him and was happy to eat anything that moved. It ate an Angel and and some trees. Now it decided that building were quite the delicacy.  
  
Shinji giggled maniacally. "Yum."  
  
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"Not Quite Crimson Special Blends of Herbs and Spices Spin!!!" Chibi Quatre Moon cried, sending a whirling mass of pink at the girl in the red fuku.  
  
The attack hit Sailor Mars head on, stunning her. Quatre took this opportunity to shoot the girl in the head. "I think that should do it..." Quatre was busy with checking for the girl's life signs, so he didn't notice the brown haired girl sneak up to him.  
  
"Jupiter... Sparkling Wide..." She stopped suddenly as a rose imbedded itself in her flesh. She looked up to where a caped figure was standing. "Tuxedo Mask?" she asked in surprise.  
  
Quatre looked lovingly at his caped savior. "Tuxedo Trowa-sama!"   
  
Trowa cleared his throat. "Those who sneak up on little blonde angels have no sense of honor. Without honor we cannot continue to exist beautifully. You threaten the existence of those who fight for good and, for that, I cannot forgive you." The unibanged figure nodded to the blonde. "Now Chibi Quatre!"  
  
The crossdressing pilot smiled at the "Scout" and finished her off with a quick shot to the head.   
  
Trowa grumbled. "I wish I could do more then throw roses."  
  
The blonde smiled and gave Trowa a kiss. "But, you're so good at it..."  
  
"And those cheesy speeches are embarassing..."  
  
"But you say them with such finesse!" Quatre giggled and cuddled closer to the black clad boy.  
  
The couple's "special time" was interupted by a annoying voice. "I knew it! Me and Darien are meant to be!" A girl dressed in pink appeared out of the shadows. "I am Sailor Mini Moon! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" She posed cheesily and glared.  
  
Quatre blinked at the little girl. She wasn't very impressive. "Am I supposed to fear your wrath?"  
  
Mini Moon scowled. "You are killing the other Scouts! For that, you must pay!"  
  
Trowa sighed. They never got any time alone anymore. "I suppose we should kill her too."  
  
"Don't sound so unhappy Tro-chan, this is for the good of all American children." He moved closer to the taller boy and whispered, "And I promise to give you an extra special treat later."  
  
The boy's expression didn't change, but Quatre could see the eagerness in his eyes. The youth smiled and gave Trowa a quick kiss before turning to face the pink "Scout".  
  
She was staring at the two with a happy expression. "You two prove it, me and Darien ARE meant to be together!"  
  
The Arabian youth looked at the American adaptation to Chibi-usa strangely. "You do know that he is your father, right?"  
  
It was the girl's turn to give Quatre strange looks. "You mean, he isn't your father?" she said, pointing to Trowa.  
  
The pilots sweatdropped.  
  
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Kurama picked up a very worn Hiei and hopped out of the moving car. The car, apparently mad at the loss of company, drove itself into the wall of the arena. The fox winced at the sound of twisting metal. "Oh well."   
  
A door suddenly appeared in frount of the silver Youko. "I guess its time to spread happiness to others, Hiei." He muttered to the fire demon as he opened the door and stepped through.  
  
Treize and Zechs watched as the Youko stepped through the doorway and disappeared. The two had been trying to get Wufei to take off the dress. Of course, it was only because they wanted to examine the dress closer. That, of course, was a lie. And, of course, Wufei knew that and was now hiding in one of the Akio Cars.  
  
The two older men looked at each other, then back at the door. It was slowly swinging shut.  
  
"Where do you suppose it leads?" the blonde man asked.  
  
"Heaven only knows, Zechs. Say, you don't think it will disappear when it closes, do you?"  
  
Zechs thought this over. "Yes, I would say there is a high probability of that happening."  
  
Treize nodded, pulled out a spoon and placed it between the door and the frame. "There, now it won't shut. We can find out where it leads after we take care of our Little Dragon..."  
  
  
  



End file.
